A fellow adoption advocate, whom I have developed a great deal of respect & admiration for, has allowed me to forward her post from her blog onto my blog-
I really liked her post and the things that she said were so challenging-so I thought I would pass them onto you. Here is her blog-check it out: http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com
Oh, my goodness...we're SO FULL OF THEM!! Yes, we're a "don't make me slightly uncomfortable", "i can't step out of my comfort zone" nation!!
When confronted with someone that "is adopting" OR when you hear of someone REALLY doing amazing things for God like "Katie http://www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/moving to Uganda" OR all the things my sister Kelly is doing through Ordinary Hero....http://www.ordinaryheroblog.blogspot.com/Well...our first thoughts are of all the EXCUSES WHY WE COULD NEVER DO THOSE THINGS!!
Believe me people...I was/am still one of those people making excuses every day....let me share
***Before we decided to adopt..I mean REALLY decided to send in our application....I too was lying in bed at night COMING UP WITH EXCUSE AFTER EXCUSE over WHY we couldn't possibly go through with this!!
I mean..I had 2 girls and 2 boys...why in the world would I ever rock that boat? Things were SO PERFECT in the eyes of the rest of the world....but I knew God was saying, "Didn't I answer your prayers? Didn't I give you the 4 healthy children you asked for?" I knew I'd been blessed WAY MORE than I ever deserved...and God was NOW asking ME to be obedient to HIM!! He was asking me to NOW give a home to ONE OF HIS MANY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN IN NEED!! BUT...before I could completely OBEY...I had a FEW MORE EXCUSES UP MY SLEAVE....I look back and think about ALL the questions I asked
Tracy Mihnovich http://www.ourunveiledfaces.blogspot.com/
Emily Alexander http://www.teamalexander.blogspot.com/
....Some of my first initial questions were:-
What will people think of me and our family?-
What do people ask you when walking through the grocery with your brown child and your other white children?-
Did you lose any friends over this?-
Have people ever been mean to you over your adoption?
And...the list goes on and on...I'm sure they wanted to reach over and slap some sense into me...but instead of slapping me...they showed me love and patience as I wrapped my little mind around the idea of adopting internationally!! :)
I WAS scared at first....I do think it is VERY normal to be scared over something you've never done before....but it was through prayer and others that had adopted before me that I found PEACE!!
**I look back and remember the night I was lying in bed and I decided, "that's it...we cant' possibly do this...we just don't have enough bedrooms!" Seriously, for a brief moment, I was willing to STOP everything over an idea that came into my head about "bedrooms"!!
Seriously....Did I mention that adopting is as much a HUGE spiritual journey as it is anything else!! You will grow more than you ever imagined possible...and I grew....I grew suddenly in my faith when I realized that THESE DUMB THOUGHTS ABOUT BEDROOMS, AND WHAT EVERYONE WOULD THINK OF ME, ETC.....WERE NOT OF THE LORD!!! I had to stop and realize that GOD would never want me NOT to adopt an orphaned child because I DIDN'T have enough bedrooms in my house for all 5 kids!!! I mean, come on...was I really going to stand before HIM some day and say..."Sorry, Lord...yes, I heard you burning my heart for the orphaned child but I couldn't go through with it because I didn't have enough bedrooms!"
Ok, so yes, I obviously got over that one fast...and yes, it makes me want to throw up too to think I could have missed out on my LL over an excuse like "bedrooms"!!! :) Geez..i've changed a lot!!! :) Ok, so that leads me to WHAT ARE YOUR EXCUSES TO NOT ADOPT?
Maybe some of ya have some REALLY great ones that really would keep you from getting accepted into ANY adoption program across this nation...but my guess is...that very few people would actually fall into that category!!
*Lets see..I've heard MONEY as one of the most popular....ummm...I'd sell my right arm, my house and every belonging I own if it meant I could parent my LL!! :) The money thing is hard..I wont' lie...but I know that MOST of America could CUT BACK, NOT GO ON VACATIONS, NOT GET THAT NEW CAR, ETC...AND MAKE IT WORK!!! For most people, the money thing will never be easy...but I see people with NO EXTRA money adopt every day...so if they can do it...WHY CAN'T YOU??
*One of the most popular EXCUSES to NOT adopt is "MY HUBBY ISN'T ON BOARD"!! Yes, I hear this one every day!! And, I know..some of you really mean it...you've tried and he isn't budging yet....but others throw out the "oh, my hubby would NEVER go for that" and really...no one has even asked him!! Or you "kind of" dropped a hint ONCE and got a snarl or negative response and well...you never tried again!! Ok, people...that isn't good enough!! I can promise you this....IF you pray for your hubby for the next 365 days..day and night...and let him KNOW your heart and your desires to give the orphan a home...and you let him know that this is coming from GOD...well...IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP..I can promise that the husbands will come around...WHY??? because God works way bigger miracles ever day than working on your hubby's heart!! So..the question is...IS IT YOUR HUBBY'S HEART THAT NEEDS CHANGING OR IS IT YOURS? I'll let ya know that there isn't a day that goes by where I'm NOT praying for my hubby's heart to allow us to adopt for child #6 (yes, I know my MIL just passed out :) and it might not be any time soon that he budges...but I believe in my heart that THE DAY WILL COME...and I'M NOT GIVING UP!!! (i'll keep yall posted on that one :) So, if i have to work for it...well...so can you!!! :)
*Well, i've heard a LONG list of "other excuses" I could share with ya like:
" my family would never understand and never support me" - Well..how do you know if you don't give them a chance...I"ve watched MANY times where families DIDN'T support adoption..and well...I've seen EVERY time where those family members have to eat CROW because they LOVE that baby/child that comes into their family/life!! God has the ability to change ALL hearts...I've seen it happen!!
"I'm afraid of the teenage years..Is it really fair to bring a child into a bi-racial family?" - Ok, so is it fair to leave a child in an orphanage the rest of his/her life so YOU didn't have to face the teen years? I'd face a million years of LL's teen years if it meant that I could be her parent!! I haven't been a parent to a teen yet...but I can promise that I'll be there to support and love her through any hard times she might face!!
" If I only lived in YOUR area it would be easy to adopt...I'd have so much support..but no one where I live adopts" - Ok, so WHAT IF TRACY M. http://www.ourunveiledfaces.blogspot.com/thought that same thought and never adopted LEVI?? Imagine HOW different our community would be!! Here is their adoption video:
When she adopted from Ethiopia..she was ALONE...she met a few others in the same pilot program..but they were virutally alone in our community...Their fellowship group consisted of like two families..seriously!! Now there are well over a hundred families!! I know God has many other "Tracy's" out there...that must be the FIRST.... it might seem scary..but there are hundreds of children in this world relying on YOU to say YES!! BECAUSE YOUR YES will make it ok for the NEXT person to say YES..and so on and so on!!
***Ok, so it is getting too late and I could go on for days with the "excuses" we all come up with....but my point here is to just let you know that I was ONCE there..I was scared and made up excuses too....but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT IS THE FACT THAT I GOT OVER IT....WHY/HOW???? I GOT OVER IT BECAUSE I KNEW IN MY HEART THAT THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL RELYING ON ME TO COME AND GET HER....I GOT OVER IT BECAUSE SHE NEEDED ME TO GET OVER IT:
A New Family Pic for the Old Blog!!!
11 months ago