Thursday, May 20, 2010

Our Story

“Our Story” to our 2nd adoption
I have been pondering for a couple months now, how do I “write our story” to our 2nd adoption of a baby girl from Ethiopia. I am usually one that does not struggle for words & am always open to share my life & journey with all those who have ears to hear or would like to know. So I have been thinking why don’t I just get started & create a blog like I did for our 1st adopted son Blaise? The reason I kept coming up with over & over is that because I didn’t really feel this time we HAD “a story”, a “defining moment” where we felt God “speak” or “call” like we did last time with Blaise.
At 1st I was beating myself up thinking Jackie is this all about you and your ideas or what YOU think SHOULD be done. Have you not been “quiet” enough to HEAR from the Lord, and what He currently would have you do with your life & how HE would choose to write your family story? But as I am currently in the hospital (April 27th, 2010)with my husband Jim & our 1st adopted son Blaise from China, it finally came to me last night, the real motive & reason Jim & I and our family WANT to adopt again.
First What DOES God have to say about adoption in general:
In James 1:27 God says to “care for orphans and widows in their affliction and to KEEP ONESELF unstained by the world”
We used this verse on Blaise’s adoption blog as well as we felt good about doing something God would WANT us to do, but this time this the verse touched me in a “different” way or “another” way that really defined WHY Jim & I are doing this again, even though we already have 5 kids and feel, at times, “over our heads”. It is the second part of the verse (to keep oneself unstained by the world). That is what each of our children has helped us to do, as with each addition it has stretched Jim & my time even more. We have had to “die MORE to self” we have had to “deny” ourselves of things & time that really is of no use to His kingdom or glory, but “serving another” now that is where Jim & I can give glory & honor to our Heavenly Father, and that is where in the bible it says over & over that Jesus commands us to “love one another” to love others as we love ourselves”.
Having a large family helps keep us “unstained from the world” by being busy serving. Not having as much time as we THINK we’d like to shop for household things, for clothing, for yard “stuff”! It’s the “stuff” that tries to “lure” me at times. Having a larger family helps all of us, not only Jim & I, but the kids to give of ourselves, our time, our treasures. Being busy with a large family helps us to focus on what we are all called to do; to love & to serve one another. Don’t get me wrong, we definitely still get “pulled in to the world” and still want & desire too much “stuff” of the world. But, for Jim & me, if we stay busy “serving” a larger family, not only does it help us to DO what the word of God says by serving & dying to self, but the “gift” & “fruits” of serving & raising a large family, FAR outweigh the cost! God is so good & insightful! I think I can speak for all of us, as we’ve talked about this many, many times in our family. Had we not said “yes” to the call to adopt “our Blaise” (our 2 year old special needs boy from China, now 6!) We would never have had been blessed with our little Anna (our 5th child that we feel came straight from Heaven as a gift). “My desire” was IF we were to have more children (at the time we had 3), I (big huge capital I) would either want another biological child or to adopt a “healthy” baby girl from Guatemala. For some reason “my desire” was to have another baby girl, either biologically or through adoption. God used our, at the time 7 year old son Jacob’s prayer for a brother, to open my heart to “God’s plan & call to our family”. Not only did God call us to a “son & brother”, but to a SPECIAL NEEDS TODDLER boy from CHINA! We truly have never doubted this “call” and we proceeded with the adoption. I surrendered my desire & will & obeyed & followed the Lord’s. It wasn’t exactly “easy” but it definitely was “the good”. (Romans 8:28) “God works ALL THINGS together for good for those who love Him & are called to His purpose” For God had much to “prune” in our family, and I think especially in ME! Bringing Blaise into our family & my life revealed to me how selfish I was & how “love” COSTS. It was a very SCARY time for me and our family, but our trust & faith & deep dependence on the Lord grew & God definitely knew what He was doing! Praise Him! God’s faithfulness & love came shining through, as not only was Blaise the “perfect” addition to our family at the time, but God fulfilled the “desire of my heart” by allowing us to be pregnant with a “healthy brown-eyed baby girl”!
Funny isn’t it, for when we discovered we were pregnant, we were so afraid & NOT wanting the “gift”. “Forgive us Lord; we must just frustrate the heck out of you”. But again, God revealed to me one night while lying in bed saying in His beautiful still, quiet voice: “Jackie, this is NOT a bad thing, to be pregnant. This is a “gift”. A gift for your faithfulness. You desired a healthy baby girl, but I asked you to Blaise, for he needed you first. You surrendered and obeyed. This is a gift for your faithfulness. This is your healthy baby girl!” “I know you are afraid and overwhelmed with your circumstances with Blaise having medical issues, and now being pregnant, but TRUST ME, it is going to be better than you imagined. It’s going to fulfill everything you need & hope for”
I didn’t know this bible verse at the time, but have been really reflecting on it in this past year.
Psalm 37:4 “Find your delight in the Lord who will give you your “heart’s desire”.
Yes, our faith & love for the Lord grew like crazy in these past 4 years, and again, I think I can speak for all of us in our family, when you follow His ways, His truths, and His life, when you surrender & obey all that He commands which is basically ONE Command in two parts: Love God Above ALL things, and love your neighbor (others) as yourself! When we stay “focused on above” and do this, find our “delight” in the Lord & not the world, He will give us FAR abundantly MORE than we could ever have asked for. He will give us “the desires of our heart.” Our family has MORE joy than we have ever had before or could have asked for or imagined and I truly am convinced it is THROUGH the giving of oneself to another that the joy COMES! Again Lord, “you know better than I” Forgive us when we do not “see” or “trust”.
Now the reason I think this came so clear to me at this time in the hospital with Blaise is because we are here in Cincinnati again “serving” our little Blaise. He just had his 4th surgery of his life, our 3rd being by his side & helping him through. Blaise is a delight to serve. He not only amazes Jim & I by his complete trust & excitement for each surgery, but all of the nurses & doctors always comment on how JOYFULLY he embraces his time in the hospital, never complaining but looking at it as another adventure & TIME alone with his mom & dad. He chooses to look at the “bright side”. He chooses to think about “the good things” and “the little things” like having ice-cream once he can eat after 3 days of not eating, and he talks about the things that make him happy instead of complaining about the things he can’t do anything about (the tubes, the IV hurting, his medical condition, the not being able to eat or do whatever he would want to do). Yes, he is definitely a delight to serve & each time Blaise reminds Jim & I of God’s love and faithfulness! He truly WAS & IS a gift & treasure from the Lord!
That is the realization or “the story” of why we are adopting a 2nd time. It is A WAY for our family to FOLLOW Jesus; who is THE WAY. (See “Changed Video” below)




We have the time (I am able to stay home with our children), we have the treasure (we have more “stuff” than we could possibly need and when the stock market took a dive, we took out the “investment retirement” money we thought we needed for our future out of sheer panic & that was the needed amount for our 1st big down payment. I guess after all there are no guarantees in what future that money would have brought us, but here & now, that money will be used to bring hope & a brighter future to that of a child. I can’t imagine a GREATER investment! I can “taste & see” “the fruit” of that investment already. And, lastly WE HAVE ROOM. One of my sisters sent me this video(see below) over Christmas about no one having ROOM for our savior when it was time for him to be born, but it convicted me as well about not thinking I have “room” for another or others in my life. Love costs…………… but it is THE WAY, THE TRUTH, and THE LIFE!



(This next text I’m copying from my daily devotional, “The Word Among Us” that I read on Jan. 16, 2010. This scriptural passage helped to strengthen and encourage me that our family was on the right path.
In Mark 2:13-17 Jesus said to Levi, the tax collector, “Follow me.” We don’t know what Levi thought, what fears rose in him or what hurts festered inside him. But in the end Levi followed. Jesus has a similar call for each of us, and just like the story of Levi, that call may take us to places we’ve never imagined or throw us in with people we never valued. It may put us in positions we’ve never sought or even knew existed. The Father created each one of us with a purpose and plan in mind-a good plan, a plan to give us a future FULL OF HOPE (Jeremiah 29:11)! We can begin to see that plan fulfilled as we RESPOND to Jesus’ call to “follow Him.” It doesn’t mean it will be “easy” when we follow Jesus. Adventure & risk go hand in hand. But when we “follow” it is TRUSTING & BELIEVING that someone greater than any threat or risk goes hand in hand with us also. When we “follow” it is TRUSTING & BELIEVING that when we do, goodness and mercy will “follow us” all the days of your life (Psalm 23:6).
We have had the privilege to see what following Jesus CAN do with one example of following Jesus to China for Blaise. It hasn’t always been “easy” but we have definitely witnessed God’s goodness & mercy. His word is all true & all knowing & it NEVER fails! We are excited to “see” what Faith & Following have in store for us this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now WHY Ethiopia, WHY another girl????????????
Well, I wish I would have documented dates more to share with our future little “princess” from Ethiopia, but I guess that really doesn’t matter. When Jim & Bailey did a mission trip to Guatemala last summer in June, they both came home on fire for adoption again. They both had spent time at a “Hannah’s Hope” orphanage there & both fell deeply in love with the children. Their hearts ached on how could we, as a family, do more. Jim specifically fell in love with a little girl named “Estephanie.” She was a toddler, reminded him of our little Anna, and she was (and is) beautiful. We both said we would adopt her in a heartbeat as “my desire” to adopt a little girl from Guatemala is still there. However with the borders being closed, we took this as a “closed door” but we know oftentimes the Lord uses things like this to get one’s attention and uses it to accomplish His purpose. That is what happened here. We began to pray again for God to open our hearts to adoption if that would give Him Glory and Honor and give us the “future full of Hope” He has planned for us. (Jeremiah 29:11)
I made a call to our social worker Patty In December, 2009 who helped us with our first adoption of Blaise in 2006. I told her we were considering adopting again & would like to set up an appointment with her. She asked WHERE we were thinking of this time. I told her I wasn’t sure as Guatemala was closed and with China the length of time to adopt a “healthy” child is 3 to 4 years. We don’t feel at this time we could handle a special needs child again, as Blaise still needs some daily medical care and extra time and we have five children to care for, the oldest being 13. Patty was in agreement with that and said “how about Ethiopia?” I have to admit, humbly and shamefully, that my first response was “I don’t think I can” I mean this is Napoleon, ND, population 800 people. How would the community respond and accept our little African American child? How would our family adapt?
How simple my thinking can be at times. The Lord is so much BIGGER than this. But, it was “the seed” that was planted. It was probably only DAYS later when I started “pondering in my heart” should we Lord, should we……………….. and if so Lord…………….. where? I said a little prayer and decided to go on my adoption agency’s website, All God’s Children International. It was this amazing agency that helped to bring our little Blaise home. I wanted to exhaust every avenue to “see” where we COULD adopt from and where God would want to “lead” us.
First I want to explain WHY International adoption. I guess for our family, we have been blessed with having biological children and because adopting this time around is NOT because we desire a specific child or a specific race, we didn’t want to be on a “waiting list” in the US against families who are waiting for their FIRST child, or families that can’t afford to go International. We also didn’t feel our “gifts & talents” were in Foster Care. That is an amazing CALL & MINISTRY, but knowing Jim & I and our lack of knowledge, skill, and TIME (having 5 children we are raising), we knew our “gifts” of parenting could be better used elsewhere and more specifically with a very small child. That explains, WHY INTERNATIONAL adoption for us. I hope it does for you too. We are all “called” to LOVE, in all areas of life!
On a Sunday after church (I think Dec. 13, 2009) I was on the All God’s Children’s International (AGCI) website, when a link to a video struck me (see Bringing Lucy Lane Home video below).



I had no idea this would be an Ethiopian adoption video, but it STOLE my heart. I was watching this amazing mom, Kristi, who had to leave her husband and their 4 bio children at home, to go get their little Ethiopian Princess! It was an amazing video with the “perfect music.” (God knows He SPEAKS to me through music). I was sitting at the computer sobbing, when Jim came up the stairs. I remember telling Jim, “I think I COULD do Ethiopia………………….can you?”
I asked him to go get the kids so we could watch the video again as a family. We were all touched. Jacob, our 10 year old who prayed VERY hard for his brother Blaise and has also had his heart on another brother, said “I know mom you are still “desiring” to adopt a baby girl, and I guess to me it doesn’t matter anymore, as long as we adopt.” (could a mom cry any harder at this point? I don’t think so). Jacob so astounds me at times. Blaise, our adopted son from China who was 5 at the times said “you mean you would go get another child that “looks” like me?” All Blaise saw was “darker skin” not a race. He also “saw” the love of a child and the “need” of a home. Our little Anna who was almost 3 at the time and seated on my lap, just jumped with glee!! And as I reflect on it now, it reminds me of how John the Baptist jumped for glee inside the womb of Elizabeth when he knew that our Savior was inside the womb of Mary. Bailey our oldest 13, and Carly our “middle child” who is 7, both were in agreement. “Let’s do this!!!!!!!!!”
So, that is WHAT we are doing and that is WHY we are doing it. That…………………..is “our story”!

“Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the one who is leading”
(Oswald Chambers)